The art of perfection

You may have noticed that my blog has undergone a redesign since my last post. In fact, if you checked it last night, you'd have noticed that it went through six or seven redesigns! I was up well past my bedtime trying to find the perfect look for my blog. Which got me thinking about my approach to most things in life -- I'm a perfectionist.

Back in grade school, I'd rewrite my essays by hand over and over again if I made one mistake. As a graduate student, I'd stay up all hours of the night trying to craft the perfect sentence for my thesis. When I began my career, I’d work obscene hours to ensure the work I produced was flawless. I've eased up on myself since those days, but my perfectionist tendencies still exist and are definitely at play in my Bikram Yoga practice.

Last fall I started to think about Teacher Training, but I convinced myself I wasn't ready because I hadn't mastered all the poses yet. I fall out when I try to touch my forehead to my knee in Dandayamana - JanuShirasana and can't for the life of me hold Dandayamana - Dhanurasana for a full 60 seconds. When one of the teachers at my studio asked if I was considering Teacher Training, I explained that I didn't think I was good enough. She was surprised by my answer and told me I had one of the strongest practices she'd seen, much stronger than hers had been when she had ventured off to training. After hearing that, I started to look around at other people (even though you shouldn't compare yourself) and realized that I do have a great practice, which Teacher Training will only help me "perfect."

In the case of Bikram yoga, I see perfection as an art — it’s a process I’m going through to master the series. And even if I never am able to stay in standing bow for a full 60 seconds, the journey I’m on to get there is transforming me and making me a stronger person.